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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Bonus





Here is a good example of what happens to your brain after you've answered to many email interviews. Enjoy!

"Here is the other one (for vainstream-music.de). I also need it asap. Just to have it online when you will be on tour! I know it’s quiet a bunch..."


1. Shame on me but till a few days ago i haven´t heard about you. I think there´s also a few people here in Germany with the same ignorance So please introduce yourself.

My name is 10,000 Marbles and i play the fool in Fucked Up.

2. Since when do you play together as a band?

We recorded our first LP in the spring of 2006 and have been a band for 2 years before that.

3. Who is responsible for the nice band name?

Our record company. The felt we could acquire more mainstream press if we could secure a band name that would "blow their minds". They told us it was our responsibility as a punk band to be as challenging to mainstream ideas and cultural identities as possible, because after all, punk music remains the greatest threat to conventional morality there is, and we feel now that it is our responsibility as artists to challenge peoples bullshit mindsets and to stir up discussions in this stagnant waste land we call "culture".
4. How would you describe your sound?

Fucked Up sounds like the guy who stood in front of that tank in Tiennamen square, or we sound like the last breath taken by a fallen soldier after she's been shot with a Jewish-bought Kalishnikov. We sound like an eagle flying through the air at 200mp to make a kill only to fly right into a skyscraper of death and thump on the sidewalk. Our sound is like when your criminal father gets rejected for a bank loan to invest in conflict diamonds in Sierra Leon. Fucked up sounds like the sound it makes when a Black man beats a Chinese prostitute. Our sound has been described as what it must have sounded like to hear Alexander the Great call his soldiers "pussies" or Napolean call the Russian army "a bunch of faggots". An old woman once told me that to her Fucked Up sounded like the sounds her stomach made after she accidentally ate rat poison because she was senile and didn't know any better and there was no one to take care of her anyway because the rest of her family abandoned her because she is really racist and homophobic and once threw a loaf at her grandsons boyfriend at a christmas dinner because she just doesn't understand that society is changing.

5. Which bands would you call your main influences?

Kull, Degfeist, Forfrathess, Morinacy and Aserblayad.

6. Who among you is writing your songs?

Well, who among you is without sin that could cast the first stone? Our songs are written as the cultural expression of a movement of people, and we feel it would be inapproriate to claim "ownership" of them as defined by whatever record contract you could try at gunpoint to get us to sign. Haven't you Germans ever read Kropotkin for christ sakes?

7. I know you have your own MySpace Site. So what do you think about MySpace? Is it a big chance for bands to get through to the masses?

We think that myspace is the haven for all the people that society would not trust! We think that these downtrodden people should be given the tools to rearrange their collective will and to make a change in their lives. We think that for bands "it is a big chance to get through to the masses".

8. Do you still have "regular jobs" besides FUCKED UP?

Regular Jobs??!? We as a band strive to be 'Irregular" as punk rockers. We have irregular haircuts that go in strange new directions that aren't defined by anyones definition of "regularity". We make bowel movments at all hours of the day! Have you ever seen how many holes and rips you can put into an article of clothing? We have so many. We don't walk into an office tower every day wearing our nice suits, if thats what you mean! We wake up in the afternoon and apply so much trash and mud to our articles of clothing that you wouldn't even believe we could take one step outside and not be thrown in the sewer by the fascists and even rejected by the slime that lives down there already. It is our job to be shocking! Not to be pressed into the service of this destructive industry that would take the medical rights away from their own grandfathers before they got around to even turning off the power to a whole section of the population just for not voting the way they were supposed to in the US presidential election. It is our job to put an end to all of this oppression for fucks sakes!!!!!
9. Early in 2007 you will touring through Germany. So what can the german audience expect?

They can expect to be blamed for the holocaust.

10. What will the future hold for FUCKED UP??

Flying cars, infinite life, cereal that not only does not get soggy with milk but inflates to the point when you have to get out of your seat because it is rapidly filling up the entire breakfast-eating area and making an exit for the largest door in the vicinity, but also laying waste to the entire concept of gravity in the first place; robots that when they talk to you do so in a manner resembling your most hated enemy, oceans filled with the most vilest reptiles so large that when you see them you instantly are reminded of what it must have felt like to first listen to the sheer length of some of our songs. Also Nike shoes so coveted and rare and expensive that only people in Kashmir who have had both their feet blown off in ethnic struggle will be allowed to purchase them. The irony being that the shoes will still be made of leather! (And not small diamond particle beams, like all other shoes made in the future).

What was the most fucked up thing that ever happened to you on tour?

Oh man! Once on tour we feel asleep in the van and our idiot driving managed to drive the van directly into the front doors of that fake mall they build as a sociological experiment in the Czech Republic. We were able to find so many great consumer items at low prices but when we got to the checkout queu they told us that we had failed as Marxists and Situationists and all this other shit we could hardly even understand and that we wouldn't be able to buy anything. Then when we got back to our van we found that Banksy had put graffitti all over it describing us not only as part of consumer culture, but there was also a black and white stencil of a little girl holding of a flower that had a McDonalds "M" instead of the usual set of stamens, pistils and the like. Luckily we were able to sell the van to a very rich techno-activist through an online indymedia cultural reification center, for a very high profit. We used the money to buy a van that had an even lower gas to
milage ratio and drove straight to the new walmart in Paris to take part in more activism, just as we got a call simultaneously on all of the cellphones we had been given for free as part of our sponsorship deal, from none other than Banksy himself who told us that it had been him who had bought the van after all and had put his trademark graffiti over the OLD graffiti, making it a meta-symbol of cultural angst and also to sell it for an even higher mark up. As they say, The Greatest Commodity The Devil Ever Sold Us Is Culture Itself (with a corpse in his mouth).
What was the biggest disappointment in 2006?

The ethical landmine that is the Sudan.

What's the best record that was released in 2006?

David Eliade "Blood and Gold" with artwork by Austin Osman Spare and Grant Morrison
Is there any great underground band that you would like to recommend to the German readers?

Der C.H.U.D.S. pt 2



1 Comments:

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